This could be something like ‘Daddy has gone to sleep’.
When talking about death, avoid using metaphors.Reassure them that they won’t get in trouble for asking questions relating to the death. Let them know that they can talk about what has happened. For older children and young people, it might be looking in local areas or workplaces. For younger children, this might be looking under beds or in toy boxes. Actively search for the person who has died.This is to impress the person who has died when they come back.
Adopting certain behaviours, such as obsessively tidying their room or furiously brushing their teeth.This is in case the person who has died turns up when they’re not there. Not wanting to go to school or go to bed.They might expect them to come back to that place. They’re scared of leaving the person who has died behind. Not wanting to leave a certain place, like home or a hospital ward.Here’s what some denial responses might look like: It can allow them time to process the death. However, denial is part of the bereavement process – it is a normal sign of grief in a child. It may look like a child or young person has not accepted that their loved one has died. Let them know that you are there for them.ĭenial is a protective mechanism.Tell them the truth in a way that they can understand. Reassure them that any feelings of disbelief are normal.Remember, shock can be expressed in different ways. Try not to appear alarmed if a response seems inappropriate.It’s pretty normal for them to get distracted. Children and young people aren’t able to focus on grief for long periods of time. This isn’t the child not being bothered by the news of death. This is the child or young person struggling to process information. They might start to tidy up, put away toys or do homework.This isn’t the child or young person not rationally understanding that someone has died. Emotionally understanding that someone has died is difficult. They might then ask if the person telling them the news is joking.This isn’t the child or young person being disrespectful. The brain is protecting them from the news of the death. They might laugh upon being told of the death.Here’s what some shock responses might look like: Its communicated differently by everyone – children and young people are no exception. Shock is a protective state, a small window of time to process bad news. For many young people and children, shock is the first response when hearing that someone has died.
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